Duke Nukem Forever review
My tips for an awesome WWDC
I’ve seen a bunch of people who just got back from WWDC posting advice on how to have the best time possible. I figured I should do the same thing. Here are my tips.
Don’t get in the keynote line early
Even if you want to sit near the front, you don’t need to get in line until around 8:30am. It’s really easy to just run and push past all the submissive nerds and get an awesome seat.
Live-blog the keynote
People who aren’t at the keynote would much rather read you repeating Steve Jobs’ announcements sentence-by-sentence on Twitter than watch a live feed with pictures. Also, other people in the audience who are following you will love reliving the moment when they look through their tweets later on.
Complain about the food
You paid a lot of money for tickets, which entitles you to demand customized gourmet meals. Food should be the main concern at any tech conference, and if you aren’t absolutely overjoyed by what you’re putting in your mouth, you aren’t getting your money’s worth.
Don’t silence your phone before a session begins
I know they ask you to before every session (and you should roll your eyes and say “do they have to say this every time?” when they do), but they’re really just forced to say that by law. In reality, all the speakers helped make these devices, and it’ll make them proud to see you using them. In fact, feel free to quietly answer your phone right in the middle of a talk. No one will notice.
Code during sessions
There are very few places in the world where you will have the opportunity to write code. A conference that you paid $1600 to attend is one of these places, and you should take advantage of that. Besides, you can just watch the session videos later.
Don’t go to any parties afterwards
You’re probably better at programming than the other attendees. Meeting them is pointless, and won’t be fun (and all the parties charge lots of money for alcohol, especially at Apple’s beer bash). Also, your hotel room is another one of the aforementioned few places in the world where you can code, so you should stay there and do that instead.
These tips will guarantee you a quality WWDC 2012. Also, don’t read any other WWDC tip posts, they’re probably trying to troll you.
One of my earliest dreams
A question was posted on Reddit yesterday that asked Has anyone else had a vivid dream more than 4 years ago that they still remember and think about today? There were a few that immediately came to mind for me, but this one really stands out. When I was in 3rd grade, after seeing Jurassic Park for the second time, I had the following dream that I still remember as if it happened to me yesterday:
Me, my little sister (who was 2 at the time), and my parents were sitting in the kitchen together. My sister was in her high chair. We were eating a meal, when a velociraptor appeared outside the window.
My dad started feeding full hams that we had sitting in our kitchen to the velociraptor. Then, my dad moved out of the way, and I started feeding the hams to the velociraptor. Then, suddenly, the velociraptor disappeared, and when I turned back around to the table, it was sitting in the high chair, in place of my sister.
I went over to it, and started feeding it some more food (don’t think they were hams anymore). Eventually, it got annoyed, and turned its face away from me. I rubbed some of the food on its face and laughed. It turned back to me, and said “my big brother is gonna get you!”
At this point, a tyrannosaurus rex appeared behind me, and started running after me. It chased me, and I screamed while running in circles around our stairwell (with the tyrannosaurus inches behind me). Then I woke up.
This final part was absolutely terrifying to me at the time. So much so, that it actually affected me during the day. I had a renewed fear of being in my room alone, because I was afraid a tyrannosaurus would stick its head through my window (despite my parents promising me that it would get stuck on the blinds). I also refused to flush the toilet, out of fear that a tyrannosaurus lurking outside would hear it.